


Memento Vivere

by Judgement



Category: Fate/Grand Order, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms, Fate/stay night - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst with a Happy Ending, Confessions, F/M, Mild Fluff, One Shot Collection, Reader-Insert, Self-Sacrifice, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:13:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26960446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Judgement/pseuds/Judgement
Summary: “You had planned to ask me to marry you.” He had. “But I wasn’t able to stay.” He figured that out. “Maybe next time we’ll get the chance, I can be a good wife.” He sobbed.
Relationships: Solomon | Caster & Reader, Solomon | Caster/Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 43





	Memento Vivere

**Author's Note:**

> [Placebo - Running Up That Hill](https://youtu.be/nIJ8DogiIiw)   
> 

You wondered what your life was meant for. You, who existed outside of time. With power one could only hope to attain in a thousand lifetimes. A power you couldn’t even use until the right moment, but when that moment was, was anybody’s guess. But you watched as Dr. Romani revealed who he was, what he could do. How he could help and you felt the seal that locked your power away let go. He wanted to say goodbye to you, without tears, but they’re in his eyes. He didn’t want to leave you; he was a sweet man. 

“I see.” You grabbed both his hands in yours.

This power, this lifetime. It was all meant for this moment, to save the doctor, Ritsuka and Mash. You were okay with that; it was worth dying for this time. Unlike the last.

“You’re a good man, Roman.” You pressed your forehead to his and he smiled sheepishly, nervously. His hands trembled in your own. “Don’t be afraid. It’s not your time, it’s mine.”

“What?” He flinched and looked at you, confused.

Roman stared at your face, followed dumbly as you pulled him away and hid him behind you. What were you doing? But he couldn’t find the words, overcome with emotion and spellbound by its intensity. 

The ring he held cracked, the power oozed out and he opened his hands. Fearful and panicked to see the only thing that he could do to stop Goetia, shattered. No! What was he to do?! How could he help Mash and Ritsuka now? Ars Nova was the only thing that could—

His stomach sank, he felt motion sick. His hand clamped over his mouth, threatening to vomit as his stomach retched. His body felt heavy, like a heavy weight dropped there, and his knees gave out. The sharp pain as they snapped against the ground went ignored as he stared at his hands. The black nail polish and the tattoos that lined his skin. The thick curls of white hair that dropped into his vision. He was back to his other self? But he hadn’t even used Ars Nova. He hid in your shadow like a coward, afraid he had failed. That the only trump card to stop Goetia had shattered in his clumsy grip. How could he fail? How could he let all you all down? Humanity down? Your shadow left him and the light that blanketed him felt like a spotlight in your absence. 

“Wait—!” 

Don’t leave him, he wanted to shout, to beg. But he’s stopped by the way space distorts around you. Watched as it bent and warped. As your image flickered like a kaleidoscope that continued to turn. Pieces of you looked different, but by the time he focused on one aspect, it already changed. Clothes swapped between eras, the color of your hair, skin, eyes—all continued to change, restless. Unable to decide on a single appearance until Roman realized that wasn’t it. They were _all_ you. Different versions of you throughout time.

What were you? _Who_ were you?

He realized then, overwhelmed by it all, the intensity of magic and emotion, that maybe he didn’t know you like he hoped. Perhaps none of them ever really knew you. The silent magus who said they had no aptitude to be a master. But this overwhelming power, the very space vibrated at its intensity. You lied, you could have been a master, a great magus to put him to shame. 

“Why?” 

He hadn’t realized he was crying until he opened his mouth. Until the salt of his tears hit his lips and his voice broke when he reached out to you as he asked. You smiled at him and he felt like you broke his heart as he choked on a sob. Tried to clear the tears with the butt of his palm.

“Because I have yet to see the story of ‘Romani Archaman’ since Solomon's story hasn't ended yet. Endings always are the hardest to write, so I will help you.” 

You knelt before him and he looked up, surprised to see the visage of his first love. A young woman who he had met in his younger years as Solomon. Who he walked with in his gardens, who he danced with under the moonlight. Someone he told himself that he would marry, planned to marry. Until she disappeared without a word.

“You, you’re—” He swallowed down another sob, tried to control the emotion that flooded him to let him speak.

“Next time, will you dance with me in the gardens again? I still think that was my favorite.” It _was_ you!

He stared at you like he was staring at God. Wide, glassy eyes that feared to hope but wanted so desperately to believe. That pooled with tears he tried so hard to stop. You could see the anguish, the sense of duty and responsibility that bore down on him. Your hand touched his cheek and he melted against it. Pressed into it and brought both of his up to cover yours, to keep it there as he nuzzled into it. Your warmth and touch, he was desperate for it. He didn’t realize how much his heart still yearned for you. Even more so, now, as he'd fallen in love with you all over again as Romani.

“You had planned to ask me to marry you.” He had. “But I wasn’t able to stay.” He figured that out. “Maybe next time we’ll get the chance, I can be a good wife.” He sobbed.

Even if you couldn’t he’d love you anyway, the two of you would figure it out together. 

“And a good wife always stands beside her husband and helps clean up his mess, right?” 

He clung to your hand, screwed his eyes shut and pressed his cheek into your palm that cradled his cheek. _Don’t go! Don’tgodon’tgodon’tgo._

“Beholden to time,"

_dontgodontgodontgo._

“All that you possess,"

_godnogodnogodno._

“Is now mine.” 

The warmth of your hand disappeared and he choked in its absence.

**_“Sum quod eris.”_ **

Eyes fluttered open to watch you walk toward Goetia. Your power warped everything around you, around everything. Expanded outward and pulled in. A dizzying sensation and the roar of silence is deafening. 

The clash of power between you and Goetia was suffocating. The heat burned against his skin and the light prevented him from looking up. Only when Mash’s shield impaled the ground before him and Ritsuka’s hand fell on his shoulder was he able to. The two of them smiled at him, held back the clash of power with just the shield. If he didn’t step up, if he didn’t help, then Mash would bear the brunt of it all. He stood, resolved to help the demi-servant no matter what. His hand covered hers as he helped bear the brunt of the impact. Of magic that escaped between the battle he couldn’t even observe. He could hear the absence though, the seconds between each hit. 

When silence fell, they hesitated. Holding the shield strong but afraid to look over before magic so strong hit a second time and the space around them tore at the seams. Mash didn’t hesitate and deployed her Noble Phantasm again and Ritsuka held onto her shoulders, helped keep her steady. Solomon held tight, the weight of the magic was heavy unlike anything. The light spilled over the top, blinding but he's drawn to the glint on his hand. Not used to the black tattoos and nails but neither of that mattered. Only the golden rings on his fingers did. _How?_ He would figure it out later. With the rings, he could save Ritsuka and Mash, and that was all that mattered.

With his magic he shielded them, kept them grounded and safe, until time abruptly snapped back into place. Ritsuka toppled into Mash, who stumbled forward into her shield, tripping into it. Solomon let go as instinct kicked in and prevented him from tumbling into the pile that the two girls ended up in. The eerie silence of Ars Paulina hung heavily, disturbed by the two as they clambered to their feet. Then another joined them.

“Goetia.” His familiar stood by the throne in his marble. 

The haggard appearance, unfocused yet angry gaze. The way his lips curled and trembled. It was an odd sight and sensation to see someone who resembled him. So close yet obviously different in stark contrast if they stood side by side. Blond hair, the sharpened teeth, tattoos on his face and the red eyes. His familiar said nothing as the two girls scrambled to their feet, ready for another fight. Solomon smiled at their willingness. But he could do something now. He wouldn’t let the two of them bear the burden of his mistakes anymore. With a hand on Mash’s shoulder followed by a gentle squeeze that she glanced up at him curiously for, he stepped away from the two. His feet carried him to his familiar. He understood now why his familiar had done it, how he’d failed to explain. Everything that happened was his fault and he wouldn’t run this time. 

“Do you understand?” Solomon asked and reached up to put a hand on the familiar’s shoulder.

An action that got slapped away before he could, though.

“No.” Geotia snapped back. Balled his hands into fists and sneered up at his master. He didn’t understand _fully_ but he was starting to. 

Solomon grabbed the scruff of his torn shirt, startling the familiar before his hand ended up slapped away again. This time he gestured for the familiar to follow, and Goetia made an indignant noise when magic hefted him into the air. Magic that forced him to trail behind his master despite how much he writhed, kicked and put up a fuss.

“Let’s go home.” He would explain everything to them, then. 

He would let Ritsuka and Mash judge him and his familiar after they learned the proper reasons. After he said his piece and after he did his best to start making amends. It would not clean up overnight. But you had closed the chapter to Solomon and maybe, just maybe, he could start living as Romani Archaman.

**Author's Note:**

> sum quod eris — "I was what you are, you will be what I am"


End file.
